Mr. Tambourine Man

Maybe a big part of my motivation/functioning/depression problem is that I haven't established an efficient workspace. I'm in the lab downstairs in the dormhall that I hate. I should ask Jake if he wants to take a shot at fixing my laptop. One of the more significant, reocurring day dreams I have is, I suppose, for a workspace-type region, a location that I frequent and can handle writing, photo, hold my books and dvds and play my music, keep tea plants and burn incense. It's in my head, rearranging itself constantly, but it's beautiful.

To-do lists are great. Even the ones for specific days that plan out the obligatory tasks one must satisy. Betsy and I are compiling a to-do list for life and it makes me ambitious and restless in a good way. We send the paper back and forth during philosophy - I promise to put it on here sometime soon.

My brother called me a few days ago while I was napping. I should get back to him, but I don't really like talking on the phone with my brothers because they like to tell me what my situation is or what I need to do. Aside from that, it's always a very rushed conversation. Another person to write to. The legions of women reading this blog are thinking that that is typical man behavior... they may be right. I suppose it is a feminine desire of mine to have a conversation with someone where both sides listen but to hell with feminine/masculine labels; this is basic human communication. It is that he wants me to be well and that he feels like he knows what I'm going through or that he wants to provide support and a solution for me, his younger brother. Honestly, you'd think that he would realize that it only frustrates and discourages me when he gives such a succinct answer. What I think when he does this is, "Okay, you aren't really taking this seriously... so I'm going to start nodding now..." I hope he's doing well.

I think I'm going to develop rolls of film by twos instead of by fours or sixes. I really need to pay closer attention to the temperature of the chemicals - for the small town project, I guess the temp. varied pretty harshly between developer, stop wash, fix etc. and the grain was pretty visible on the prints, even on the small one of the kid posing next to his car. I mean, I deliberately made a smaller print of that to avoid compromising the clarity. Elbert said it might be my camera. Doug said it was the developing temperatures. I hope it's not the camera.
Apparently, at the Omaha camera show, you can get a complete darkroom outfit for $100. Seriously? My gosh. This whole aspiration to be poor but writing and taking photos and owning part of a gallery with my commune is getting closer to a reality. This is going to happen.

I'm banned from DordtTalk... but there is a thread going on that someone I dislike and do not respect started. About Nickelback and how she likes Nickelback, unashamedly, and wants to discuss why a lot of people don't like Nickelback. She misspelled Nickelback and, in explaining why she likes them, she cited that she enjoys their sound. I hate her and she is dumb. She also claims to have an eclectic taste in music and to enjoy music in general.
You can't claim to be eclectic while liking a few random bands of different genres... well, I guess you can in the general definition of eclectic.
How about this? You can't claim to care about and enjoy music generally if you don't give at least a little thought to all aspects of a song/band (lyrics, melody, instrument, originality, production, energy etc.). If you say you appreciate a band (and seriously enjoy music) and the reason being that you like their sound, I'm not going to take you seriously.

I'm all friggin' for people liking different bands/genres but you should at least be able to discuss and back up your repertoire if you claim to like music, generally. And if you get your ass handed to you in rebuttal, you shouldn't get mad and stop talking. It doesn't take a lot of ingenuity and effort to make pleasing sounds but pleasing sounds aren't always music.

That said, I think I should state that I do appreciate pop music... a lot of pop music actually. This is a big discussion; it is bigger than myself.