The nice checkout girl at Fareway wanted to share a brief chat. I just wanted to get my Mason jars back home and move some grapefruit-rhubarb jam. The store was bare and I can understand that she was bored. There's not a lot to keep your motivation up when you're working. That's sad, innit?

"It's a beautiful day."

"Huh? Oh, yeah. It is."

"Not like Saturday. Man, Saturday was horrible."

... ...trying to remember Saturday... "You know, I don't remember Saturday much."

"Oh no?"

"Last week was pretty rough - I think I slept in at the end." (This was an accidental lie - I forgot that I went to Omaha with Jer and Matt. The drive was riddled with rain.)

"That must have been nice." (Examines her fingernails.)

"You know... I understand that you hate your job and living here, or whatever... but I can't take ask you out. Well, I guess I could, but I'm not going to."

"Aw, come on." (Flutters her eyelashes.)

(Looks her in the eye and pretends to consider, all the while singing Wilco's Heavy Metal Drummer in his head.)

Then, as she was about to stick out her chest (high schoolers, can you believe them?) I picked up my jars and mushrooms and got the hell out of there!

I wish, on some days, I could wear my apron all day. Like it was my job. On some days.

The video needs to be finished. It was hell trying to get all the things we needed into the systems. Lauren took a few shots of her costume/make up class, but the door was locked and I couldn't get to my camera. It will be a late night tonight.

Payin' my dues. But! Thoughts of helping out flood victims later this summer. For a substantial time. Hopefully.

"I wake up and the phone is ringing."

Dordt Discovery Days 2008 is in full freaking effect. Here they are, all twelve of them, in all of their Bigger And Better glory.



From left to right, and from memory, Nate Tatsumi, Cory, Mark (his head is partially covered), Ben, Nice Sioux Center Lady, Skyler, Pen*, Logan, Marker* (in the Timberwolves jersey), Christian (to his right), Nathan Pfeifle (pronounced puh-fay-fuh-lay), Brent (also sporting the mysterious gang symbol and Ryen (holding the 12-pack of Sprite that was, admittedly, bigger and better)
*Pen and Marker, Ben and Mark, are roommates

Only two of these kids are thirteen. The rest of them are twelve. Some of them are more competitive or threatened than others, but in this brief moment... look how happy they are! Hooray! More pop! Thanks lady!

They look really sweet in this photo and some of them actually are, but it has not been an easy week. For now, I'll just say that the last three days have left me constantly attempting to compare my own seventh-grade behavior. To be fair, it should be factored in that Dale and I have been running around campus during the day, putting together footage for the video (that must be 15 minutes of DVD ready for Parents' Night on Friday) and then I assemble Team Chuck Norris alongside the other groups and night activities.

You remember these experiences, right? At the very least, you can imagine the age and the fluttering emotions. There have been tears for various reasons. Friendships have formed, cluttered, picked up and glued together etc.

Anyway, I hope I'm learning stuff, but you know you're really tired when you run around the sun all day, straining into a viewfinder and then chase the rambunctious bunch around from as early in the morning as you can until taking advantage of the empty Mac lab at night... that you lay in bed dead-tired, slowly singing LCD Soundsystem to yourself and you cannot freaking fall asleep.

Oh, yes. And the kids too. I hope they have a good time.

"The time has come. The time has come. The time has come today. Bells."

clinkity clinkity clinkity

"Around the house by the sea, the scent of roses and raspberry leaves."

It'd be good to read beard-o's post before or after this one.

We're back and alive and pretty tired. Boy Scouts died, many others were injured and they are all heroes now.

Jesse and Mary have every right to brag. Walking through their marvelous home conjured up thoughts of various people - friends that I would have loved to have been at the moment. But still, what a time we had. I don't remember Jesse's smile being so bright, or Mary's voice being so cute... or that freaking dog being so awkwardly huge.

Before that, there was much talk of freckles, vegetarianism, card game rules, Christian Romance, arranged marriages and golden birthdays. Jeremy's girlfriend has a pink and green room, but it's mostly pink. Hot pink. Her sister's room in the basement, where we lodged for a few nights, is a shrine to... some dude that watched over us at night. Being in there for so many hours, consecutively, when we are our most vulnerable has an effect on you. Really, we didn't get large amounts of sleep very night... but... still... it's like... hypothetically, say two guys go to see... a chick flick, like Sex and the City... for whatEVER reason. Anyway. They're in the theater, barfing and wringing their eyes out... but then they begin to start responding to the fashion and the clothes. Not critiquing, really, but just noticing them. The point is, sleeping in the shrine of Nick Jonas (of the Jonas Brothers) was NOT like that at all. It was scary, and then annoying.

The stay in Pella was refreshing and overwhelming and hilarious and interesting and poignant and chaotic and exhausting. It would have only been better if we could have stayed longer and/or we were skilled in floral craft.

Also, it was good to see a golden, smiley, feisty friend again.

The show was in Iowa City. While Lisa's plane maneuvered the skies to bring her to the venue, with Craig and Marcel, on time, the majority of the city was either under threat or serious flood damage, or already beneath several feet of water. We saw abandoned cars in parking lots with water about up to covering them completely. Community members, working together, sandbagging (not a dirty innuendo) and toiling to seal homes and businesses. Oddly, we drove through these scenes to attend a concert at a packed, small and intimate theater. The cafes and bars around the venue were packed with people drinking coffee and having a good time. A surreal drive and wait in line.

Iron & Wine plays a little like a jazz combo - every freaking musician on stage is extremely talented, but there were no outlandish solos or spotlighting moments. Watching and attempting to drink in the songs (see: Woman King and Wolves (Song of the Shepherd's Dog)) can be boggling, straight-up jarring, because there are lots of sounds and careful touches dancing around to the song. Couple that with Sam and sister Sarah's vocals, brooding and flowing about the acoustics of the space (see: Pagan Angel and a Borrowed Car or, especially, The Devil Never Sleeps). Do you sit forward in your seat with your palms facing upwards and your back straight, or do you sit deep and curl up like you were in a living room? Would it be redundant to say that I began with the former and moved toward the latter?
There were several moments when tears wanted out, and I wanted them out too, just do it because I'm shaking here. "I heard from someone you're still pretty and then, they went on to say that the pearly gates had some eloquent graffiti like 'we'll meet again' and 'fuck the man!' and 'tell my mother not to worry.'"

Love And Some Verses was performed at a more upbeat pace. Sarah Beam has a terribly beautiful voice. Bird Stealing Bread is one of the first songs I had heard of Iron & Wine and I hadn't noticed how gorgeous and vulnerable the lyrics are. Here.

tell me, baby, tell me
are you still on the stoop
watching the windows close?
i've not seen you lately
on the street by the beach
or places we used to go

i've a picture of you
on our favorite day
by the seaside
there's a bird stealing bread
that i brought
out from under my nose

tell me, baby, tell me
does his company make
light of a rainy day?
how i've missed you lately
and the way we would speak
and all that we wouldn't say

do his hands in your hair
feel a lot like a thing
you believe in
or a bit like a bird
stealing bread out from under your nose?

tell me, baby, tell me
do you carry the words
around like a key or change?
i've been thinking lately
of a night on the stoop
and all that we wouldn't say

if i see you again
on the street by the beach
in the evening
will you fly like a bird
stealing bread out from under my nose?

The playedlastnight website doesn't have our show available, so I'm going to listen to the Calvin show in April that was just at our fingertips, before flying away into the night.

Looking forward to talking to you, all of you, again.

Turn around, bright eyes...

After work and home and dinner and while sitting out on the patio with my poppa, looking at the new deck, the leaves that appear red or dark green - depending on where the sun is hitting them - I began to hum along with the radio. Both of our feet were up on the table, it was a breezy June evening, our arms were tired. Our backs were tired. The grass was green and swaying in the wind. We didn't say anything for about fifteen minutes.
And then Total Eclipse of the Heart began playing. You know that song. "Turn around... every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you never come 'round." You know that song. Right? Yeah, you do. That guy knows what I'm talking about!
Anyway, it's a friggin' power ballad and I got into it. Humming turned to lip-synching, turned to softly singing up until the chorus. I conjured up the energy and passion that from Old School. ...yes. Yes. Double-yes. I did include the swear words AND the yodeling, but only for a little bit for the yodeling.

*power ballad fist pump*
And I need you now tonight!
I fucking need you morrrre than ever!
*power ballad air guitar solo*
heyyyyyyodelay yodelay yodelay HEE HOO!

Anyway - that was fun.
At the end of the song (it's a really long song), I leaned back again and said, "good song."

Dad: That song... played all day long.


... ...I also learned that the wicked huge and wicked awesome garden that we had at our Grand Rapids house has been converted to a... I don't remember what it was really, but it wasn't a vegetable garden. It was a kids' toy and play area... which is completely out of line. Apparently my brother had driven by or went to visit, I don't know, but he was pretty pissed. "The garden is gone."
And a clink of the beer bottles.*

Tomorrow evening, we leave for visits and Iron and Wine. It will be terrific and a total summer time adventure.
Then Discovery Days starts and that will be super busy. And fun, I hope.

At the moment, there are chives, cilantro, cilantro-esque herbage (Harriet will find out the legit name for us), Italian basil and lemon basil ready for the picking mere steps from the door. Four pepper plants (two bell, two chile) are planted. This will be a good summer.

And yes, my eye(s) are feeling better. You're a darling for having worried so much. I love you... well, probably. Who is this I'm speaking to?

I worked today, mostly, with an old friend from high school - the reminiscing was actually quite enjoyable.

Keep away from the tomatoes everyone, unless you get them from a garden that knows what it's doing - as in, that doesn't use manure from animals that HAVE salmonella in their intestine. Listen to the news, kids.

*no, not really. but hopefully soon.

edit - 12 47 am. You know there's going to be a wicked thunderstorm soon, very soon, when a whole mass of ducks fly outside your window this late. Yeah, you can hear them tearing down 4th avenue, through the cinder block walls and the neighbor's air conditioner on full blast. You can hear them, a four-minute stream of duck noises because there are so many and because they are freaked freaking out... ... ... man it would be fun to go freak out in flight with a bunch of your friends at one in the morning.

It's Paul Giamatti's Birthday

for another fifteen minutes. Man on the Moon, Cinderella Man, Sideways, American Splendor, The Illusionist. I didn't see Lady in the Water, and I heard it blew chunks, but I'm sure he was splendid in it. The man is forty-one years old today. Here's to forty-one more.

I wrote sent off five letters the other day - my hand started to cramp up after it all. But it was nice to catch up on my correspondence and also, it is nice to say that I caught up on my correspondence. Shoot. Nobody expect a letter if you're reading this. I basically sent out a letter to anyone I have an address to. Almost. I take that back. Nobody expect a letter.

My left eye is infected. I woke up with a slight irritation and tried to work through it with my dad. It kept getting worse and worse, tearing up and it actually really hurt for a while. I think I had tried to wash it out a dozen or so times before dad sent me to the hospital. The doctor was really nice and laid-back, making small talk while treating me. None of his four kids are doctors, he is a third-generation doctor. Sad, but they're all doing really well. He laid me back and put a few drops of florescent goo in my eye and turned on a black light. Of course, he told me what he was doing and everything so I freaked out. "Are you serious? Ohhhhh, that's going to be so cool. Haha! Is there a mirror? Can I see? Hahaha! Awesome!" I don't know why I was so excited - he started smiling and chuckling but I didn't get to see my glow in the dark eye. The lid and insides of the flaps are swollen, it's starting to spread to the other eye he says, but that one feels fine. They prescribed some drops that I take every four hours. Hopefully it's better, or getting better by Monday. The doctor said it's probably not a worm (he held his hands two feet away from each other) that burrows in the eye. It still hurts like hell, some times more than others - it's getting to be a huge pain in the... head all day. Hope it's not pink eye. Do you think my dad farted on my pillow while I was at the farm? You know, as a joke?

What do you do if you can't see very well? Can't read, can't watch a film, can't go for a drive, can't photograph or darkroom or charcoal or ink... you can sit by the firepit at Dordt, waiting for Shake and Pip to show up with wood and listen to LCD Soundsystem and Neutral Milk Hotel, trying to think up names for a film production company.

Brainstorming is easier when your eyes are closed, scribbling away and singing, "Your mom would drink until she was no longer speaking, and dad would dream of all the different ways to die - each one a little more than he could dare to tryyyyyyyyyyyy."

Tomorrow's a wedding. Hooray!

The Japanese Ainu

BBC article here.

"In a nation that has always preferred to perceive itself as ethnically homogenous, it is a highly significant move."

I don't know that this is the most tactful response to the article - and it's a hell of an article - but, I can't help but wonder when someone will make a film about the Ainu and... if not one film, then a documentary series.

June

I began watching the film Capote today immediately after lunch and it hit the spot. Could go on and on about that film - really, top notch. Unfortunately, I was called to some backyard labor about forty-five minutes into the film. After a drive and a discussion and some shoveling and root cutting in the hottest part of the day, I washed up and tried to resume the film. Not a success. Only lasted about seven minutes and I had to turn it off - I had no idea what was going on. I knew what was happening in the film, but it's such a close study of character and depravity, chained with power... I turned it off and had to distract myself because I couldn't keep watching after a break in viewing. As I write this, I'm astonished at how irritated I was at the time, but you have to understand that I love watching movies but a few factors are keeping me from them. Work in about three or four different ways and also with the weather actually being warm and God calling society to be outside during the day (and evening) instead of in a dark room, watching a TV, it's really hard to commit a few hours indoors.

Now it's past midnight and work begins again. I couldn't express how much I appreciate and feel blessed to be working where I am, with everyone and with everything - I'm not even going to try. And it's amazing when I notice the slight, gradual shifts that my body is making to switch over from nocturnal to seeing the sun rising from the east. And still, there's an amazing gloom that keeps me from clearing the boxes off my bed and surrendering to another week of hard, physical work, eating a sack lunch, coming home to hard physical work, eating something in haste, showering and being so drained that I could go to bed at eight, but can't because I would sleep for way too long and, shit, I just want to be awake to read a few chapters, watch a short film (a short one!) get to the darkroom, break out the charcoal or ink, or call a friend/write a letter. Also, my back or, to be more accurate, my left, upper ass, is starting to ache and pang again. Like when I worked at Groschopp over Christmas and... have you seen Adaptation? (No?! You should!) It's like in the beginning when Donald is laying on the floor when Charlie comes home and crawls around like that because of his back... well, it's not that bad. But it was almost there last Christmas. Now, it's the occasional grunt, stooped over walk and rubbing my back with my hand like I'm an old fart... or an old farmer.

Hopefully Matt and/or I take some photos of the farm soon. You guys should see get to see it. The spinach plants are on their way out. This is a heartbreaking seasonal occurrence. There are still some plants that will yield yet this year, and this gives a small glimmer of hope to our kitchen thoughts, but there are other vegetables to come in. It will really start to escalate soon. I'll try to get into more specifics later, but know that, last year, they were still bringing in tomatoes in November - Harriet decided to just pull the plants because the yield was friggin' ridiculous. LISA, Matty and I want to convince her to give all the excess to us (as usual) and we want to have a canning party with you and your mum and the children. Chutney, salsa, marinara and so forth. If you're reading this, whoever you are, especially if you are into foods, you should come too.

I just miss some friends and maybe that is reason enough for this slump. Will it just get worse and worse until Iron & Wine on the 12th? Aren't other things happening before that?!?!

Oh yeah... it's June already... lady, this month is going to be crazy.

...new rule! How about, to mix things up a little, nobody gets married next summer! Then, we'll take that Morocco, Italy, India tour and (holy crap!) we'll be able to work creativity into our lives again. (Yes, taking photo and painting next semester, but still!) Also, traveling would be nice. Recently I had a taste of it and I freaked out. Went to pick up Jer from Omaha with Matty, Jakey and Nateo (I was the lone beardless one - extremely humiliating, I might as well have been a girl) and we were headed back to Sioux Center/Orange City around midnight and we passed a rest area (one of many). Like I said, I freaked out. "We're driving at night, dude! Yes!" It could be compared to similar moments of realization last semester, Dan and I would be driving back from something and "...what day is it? Is it Friday afternoon? Is it the weekend? It is! Yes, dude! Fuck! Yes! YES!" And now, I have the song that plays with the end credits from The Darjeeling Limited. We need a train. And to make the most of our youth.

What the... if someone wants to take this post and outline it, try and figure out how I got from one thought to another, that might be a good idea. Anyway, it's way late and it's Monday now. Love and miss you. Jer, it's good to have you back.