June

I began watching the film Capote today immediately after lunch and it hit the spot. Could go on and on about that film - really, top notch. Unfortunately, I was called to some backyard labor about forty-five minutes into the film. After a drive and a discussion and some shoveling and root cutting in the hottest part of the day, I washed up and tried to resume the film. Not a success. Only lasted about seven minutes and I had to turn it off - I had no idea what was going on. I knew what was happening in the film, but it's such a close study of character and depravity, chained with power... I turned it off and had to distract myself because I couldn't keep watching after a break in viewing. As I write this, I'm astonished at how irritated I was at the time, but you have to understand that I love watching movies but a few factors are keeping me from them. Work in about three or four different ways and also with the weather actually being warm and God calling society to be outside during the day (and evening) instead of in a dark room, watching a TV, it's really hard to commit a few hours indoors.

Now it's past midnight and work begins again. I couldn't express how much I appreciate and feel blessed to be working where I am, with everyone and with everything - I'm not even going to try. And it's amazing when I notice the slight, gradual shifts that my body is making to switch over from nocturnal to seeing the sun rising from the east. And still, there's an amazing gloom that keeps me from clearing the boxes off my bed and surrendering to another week of hard, physical work, eating a sack lunch, coming home to hard physical work, eating something in haste, showering and being so drained that I could go to bed at eight, but can't because I would sleep for way too long and, shit, I just want to be awake to read a few chapters, watch a short film (a short one!) get to the darkroom, break out the charcoal or ink, or call a friend/write a letter. Also, my back or, to be more accurate, my left, upper ass, is starting to ache and pang again. Like when I worked at Groschopp over Christmas and... have you seen Adaptation? (No?! You should!) It's like in the beginning when Donald is laying on the floor when Charlie comes home and crawls around like that because of his back... well, it's not that bad. But it was almost there last Christmas. Now, it's the occasional grunt, stooped over walk and rubbing my back with my hand like I'm an old fart... or an old farmer.

Hopefully Matt and/or I take some photos of the farm soon. You guys should see get to see it. The spinach plants are on their way out. This is a heartbreaking seasonal occurrence. There are still some plants that will yield yet this year, and this gives a small glimmer of hope to our kitchen thoughts, but there are other vegetables to come in. It will really start to escalate soon. I'll try to get into more specifics later, but know that, last year, they were still bringing in tomatoes in November - Harriet decided to just pull the plants because the yield was friggin' ridiculous. LISA, Matty and I want to convince her to give all the excess to us (as usual) and we want to have a canning party with you and your mum and the children. Chutney, salsa, marinara and so forth. If you're reading this, whoever you are, especially if you are into foods, you should come too.

I just miss some friends and maybe that is reason enough for this slump. Will it just get worse and worse until Iron & Wine on the 12th? Aren't other things happening before that?!?!

Oh yeah... it's June already... lady, this month is going to be crazy.

...new rule! How about, to mix things up a little, nobody gets married next summer! Then, we'll take that Morocco, Italy, India tour and (holy crap!) we'll be able to work creativity into our lives again. (Yes, taking photo and painting next semester, but still!) Also, traveling would be nice. Recently I had a taste of it and I freaked out. Went to pick up Jer from Omaha with Matty, Jakey and Nateo (I was the lone beardless one - extremely humiliating, I might as well have been a girl) and we were headed back to Sioux Center/Orange City around midnight and we passed a rest area (one of many). Like I said, I freaked out. "We're driving at night, dude! Yes!" It could be compared to similar moments of realization last semester, Dan and I would be driving back from something and "...what day is it? Is it Friday afternoon? Is it the weekend? It is! Yes, dude! Fuck! Yes! YES!" And now, I have the song that plays with the end credits from The Darjeeling Limited. We need a train. And to make the most of our youth.

What the... if someone wants to take this post and outline it, try and figure out how I got from one thought to another, that might be a good idea. Anyway, it's way late and it's Monday now. Love and miss you. Jer, it's good to have you back.