To my girlfriend who has a phobia of porn groove...

I was burning a cd of pictures for my cousin when I looked up and the movie Ice Princess was playing. The young, wholesome... girl, Michelle Trachtenevergonnagetgonnorhea was leaving a meeting with her physics teacher. She is, in the movie, a smart, nerd-ish type (referred to in the movie as "a science geek") and she and her friend both stop cold in the busy high school hallway as a popular girl looks at them. Said popular girl-the little girl in Remember the Titans, I think... yeah! Hayden Panettiere!-she walks over toward them, IN SLOW MOTION, smiling like a prom queen. CUE THE PORN GROOVE!

Isn't that crazy?!

They put in porn groove there! It's a Disney movie! ...oh yeah ...it's a Disney movie.

"You're not like the other girls, Gen. Winners make sacrifices."

Faaantastic. AND these girls are total bitches.

...but the porn groove! Bum chicka chicka wah-waaaah... It was hilarious!


+

For the sake of comparison, here are the stats for Calvin College.


Top Music Top Music
Calvin / Dordt

1 U2 -- 1 Muse
2 Coldplay -- 2 Yellowcard
3 Jack Johnson -- 3 U2
4 The Fray -- 4 Panic! At the Disco
5 Radiohead -- 5 Johnny Cash
6 The Killers -- 6 Jet
7 Red Hot Chili Peppers -- 7 Jars of Clay
8 Rascal Flatts -- 8 Hinder
9 Goo Goo Dolls --9 Fall Out Boy
10 Fall Out --10 Death Cab for Cutie


Top Movies Top Movies
Calvin / Dordt

1 The Princess Bride -- 1 Gladiator
2 The Notebook -- 2 Braveheart
3 Pirates Of The Caribbean -- 3 John Tucker Must Die
4 V For Vendetta -- 4 Fight Club
5 Pride And Prejudice -- 5 Anchorman
6 Lord Of The Rings -- 6 Forrest Gump
7 Garden State -- 7 Elf
8 Fight Club -- 8 Dumb and Dumber
9 Beauty And The Beast -- 9 Bruce Almighty
10 Anchorman -- 10 Boondock Saints


Top Books Top Books
Calvin / Dordt

1 The Bible -- 1 The Bible
2 Harry Potter -- 2 Karen Kingsbury
3 Lord Of The Rings -- 3 Anything by John Grisham
4 Blue Like Jazz -- 4 Anything by Shakespeare
5 Mere Christianity -- 5 Anything by Dee Henderson OR Karen Kingsbury
6 To Kill A Mockingbird -- 6 Any Christian Romance Novel
7 The Brothers K -- 7 And Picture Books :)
8 Pride And Prejudice -- 8 And Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte is Great
9 The Atonement Child -- 9 And Harry Potter
10 Chronicles Of Narnia -- 10 And Anything on the History of Hockey or Player Autobiographies

A quick bite and the purpose of film

Northrop Auditorium

Forgive me, I'm thinking about the money.

Damien Rice performing in Minneapolis was amazing. There was, note, no void due to Lisa Hanigan's absence, but we were hoping for her siren voice. Fantastic show--one of the best.

More coming.

Stats (Stats mean nows!)

I know it's the end of the year and all that...
and if/when I hear about people bitchin' about being SO LOST without their Dordt friends, Imma be pissed.

But it looks like something else beat me to the punch.

According to the Dordt Network on facebook...

Top Books (for those in the Dordt College network):

1. The Bible
2. Karen Kingsbury
3. Anything by John Grisham
4. Anything by Shakespeare
5. Anything by Dee Henderson OR Karen Kingsbury
6. Any Christian Romance Novel
7. And Picture Books :)
8. And Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte is Great
9. And Harry Potter
10. And Anything on the History of Hockey or Player Autobiographies

...Ok, that last one is funny, but I'm disgusted.


Top Music:

1. Muse
2. Yellowcard
3. U2
4. Panic! At The Disco
5. Johnny Cash
6. Jet
7. Jars of Clay
8. Hinder
9. Fall Out Boy
10. Death Cab For Cutie


Top Movies:

1. Gladiator
2. Braveheart
3. John Tucker Must Die
4. Fight Club
5. Anchorman
6. Forrest Gump
7. Elf
8. Dumb and Dumber
9. Bruce Almighty
10. Boondock Saints

And this isn't a whole, "Sorry I don't have the same exact tastes as you, Alvin!"
Instead of bitching about me pointing out how much you suck, why do you read shitty literature? This... will be an ongoing post. The funny thing is that "music" came in 2nd place on the Top Interests (right below "shopping") and reading came in 4th.

Softer than the rain

I'm going to pursue this photography thing.
In addition to writing. I like challenges.

Illicit, and esoterically so.
But EVERYTHING IS FINE, as I've said before.
It's well past two A.M.
I've slowed, from sprint, to run and am jogging now.
I still can.
Cults off of the orthodox church,
compositions composed of tone and shadow
or
an invigorating head start on all of it, in who cares what order?
Tomorrow holds more challenges.
Tomorrow it is.
Fine. Try it.

*crash

Tobey Maguire

I hate him.

And, generally, everyone else in/involved with the Spiderman movies.
Except for Willem Dafoe. But I really hate Tobey Maguire.

Typewriter, Post-its, the back of a Decemberists CD and one severely damaged negative

Father in Heaven, what time did I start in here? I've finished enlarging a variety of prints for the collage assignment. My fingers are wrinkly from dipping into the chemicals so often. It's a different state of mind after every hour past the third one. The crazy thing is... I only printed about twelve or so shots from the two rolls (only) I took of my typewriter. Looking at the handful of prints hanging, I regret not taking just one more roll of shots to get even more angles and distances.
At one point, the song had ended and I heard a faint beeping noise. It sounded like a phone that has an unread text message waiting. The pipes never sound like that, so I grabbed my cell and keys and walked outside where the beeping turned into the fire alarm for the campus center. If the song hadn't ended, I would not have heard it. If there were an actual fire, I would be toast...
Relating this to Lynda a few minutes after coming back in, I told her that "it wouldn't be a bad way to go... burned among the photos that I spent six hours to print, about $30 for paper, and about four more hours to shoot and develop the negatives. Also, this tiny, secret darkroom would be dedicated in my memory for sure.
I had two lattes and a bottle of water. I'm starting to feel a bit woozy. I've got miles to go, still, before I sleep. Tomorrow will be more difficult, tomorrow will make me a man.

Will my car be fixed and operational by Tuesday? Can I pick up my computer in Sioux Falls by then? Will I have finished my essay by Tuesday? Do I have enough money in my bank account? What do I have to do tomorrow? What should I be doing, for tomorrow, today? What should I be doing today, for today? Why do I have to work with complete idiots? Why is my manager a psycho? Won't you let me walk away? She should just... I should just,

"Every one of you is fired."

I want to just,

Zip, zip, "Fuck you."

Ha! I wrote a short story in high school about a man hanging himself and the teacher contacted the counselor who, in turn, contacted the Inspiration Hills camp group for troubled teens and what. So... I spent a weekend on the high ropes course and incense-confession-crying sessions back-to-back. You know, "Alright Alvin! Way to face your fears! Let's go light this stick of cinnamon wild berry and have a talk! ...okay, I think we've made some progress! Let's grab some pulleys! Wrap this around your crotch!" Back and forth. Once you've completed one part of the high ropes course, you don't really have any more fear. And when you can smell the cinnamon wildberry on the high ropes and Steve! is staring at you for hours on end, you end up making shit up in order to get him off your back. "Uhh yeah. I never really wanted to pee. I just always liked the feeling of holding it in and then losing control and it exploding... is that weird? Sometimes, I smell myself."

Some people don't like confrontations. Did you know that? "Maybe it'll go away... if someone had a problem with me--and I'm sure someone does--then I wouldn't want to know about it. That'd be horrible!" Ha! Oh dear.

It's cold today, but yesterday--yesterday night even--was warm.

In an outburst of violence, he wrote, "Get busy and kill them! Kill them! The quicker the better! I mean if they can't stand the truth they ought to die and be dead! Let's hope maybe they'll go to Heaven and not to Hell!"

David "Moses" Berg of the Children of God cult. Sick motherfucker.

Six... almost seven hours of sleep coming

"Giddy as a schoolboy."

Hehheheh... yeah, I've heard it before. I heard it back in February. I don't know. I don't know. You know? It's... satisfying. I'm sorry; I should be able to describe it in more words. Maybe throw in some sentences... or phrases even. With or without some imagery. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say. But I do have this unstoppable grin on my face.

It seems it's always the crazy times, but the best thing about being a giddy schoolboy is that time where time steps aside and makes way for timelessness. And just sitting there and even the pauses in between conversation transcends schedule and assignments and activity. And leaving that time Oh! leaving! is like a very, very funny joke played on you. And you're laughing and in high spirits but you're upset that it was against you. And I'm happy thinking about it, but sad that it's over and I'm heading back to the mode where I am in one place, but anxious about what I have to do next.

And you give yourself to these things, getting up constantly to face more and more. Because I feed off of it. And pushing myself to the limit is how to handle it. The white flag and punking out is not a way to handle it. Just run and run and run and recharge... then run some more.

But I realized that I smile more. And when I'm doubled over, aching and dry heaving in pain; I'm thinking about what it will be like after, when it's over and I won. And how I will be different because of it.

And when I walk into my dorm--at the end of sprint #1 and at the beginning of spring #2--I'm smiling.

And those idiots are counting the days down until we're done.



Note: This is not to antagonize the schedule, assignments or activities. On the contrary, the schedule, assignments and activities are the reason I--and you--are here at this place called higher education. And I'm calling you an idiot to your face if you're paying however much we're all paying and still taking it easy and in apathy.

Condescension aside...

Okay. I honestly don't think I'm (at least) as condescending as I used to be. And it feels good feeling that way--that I have worked at myself and toned it down. But I'm still critical, and I'm okay with it. The thing is... we're on Spring Break, in Phoenix and it's gorgeous. I won't go into details about the weather and city because that's really not what I want to talk about. The basic mindset behind Spring Break, with college kids, is to let loose and get drunk-whatever. Which is, I suppose, ridiculous because we-the five of us here on this trip-can get drunk on any weekend during the semester. Dordt isn't a huge school, but it has its accesses to underage alcohol. We didn't need to drive 23 hours to Phoenix in order to do that. I was under the impression that we drove all this way in order to soak in the sun and the city (Suns game!). And then we'll drive to LA, to Paul's house, and see where he lives.
We had a good day today. We got to the mall, pool, barbeque, out for pizza and a hookah bar where we purchased one and brought it back to Brent's apt. for some vanilla cherry and a few beers.

At the pizza place, Ben and I were standing at the podium waiting to be seated and I glanced down where some Korean waiter had written something in the miscellaneous note section. It was two words--five consonants and five vowels. I laughed and, when I was trying to explain it, said, "Umm... it said shit face. But without the shit part."

"So, just shit?"

"Well, no. Haha. Yeah, but the shit was directed at someone."

It was funny but the guy was pissed. (I saw him later in the evening.)

We were back at the house shortly afterwards and I was talking to Renae out in the backyard. I was interrupted... which, yeah, it did initially irk me a bit. But especially when a hypocritical oaf interrupts my conversation because he had to tell me how much he needed to drink in order to get a buzz... it's more than enough to disgust me.

Rules:

1) You don't bitch about the brand of beer when your host is gracious enough to supply you for free, especially when you are underage and doubly especially when you're staying at his apartment and he's taking you to all these money spots in the city.

2) You don't look down on the beer when you yourself are the "Bud Light" of the group.

3) You don't put on a condescending face to the other members of your party because you don't regularly see them at the inebriation fests on campus.

He got drunk and, as always and even without alcohol, danced for the rest of us like a monkey. It got old a few years ago and it was even more disgusting this time with alcohol involved. This is the guy who bitched out another friend, calling him an idiot and a faggot, because said friend spent a night on an inebriation fest. When friend responded with, "Well, there's another one tonight," monkey boy asked to come along.

Tonight, when monkey boy said, "I'm never ever going to smoke," and that was met with a, "Just like you were never ever going to drink?" he responded with a simple, "Fuck you."

Condescension aside because this doesn't have to do with me. The guy, monkey boy, is a dumbshit. If, as we decided earlier tonight, a person is part body and part mind, monkey boy has no water in his glass; he is no person, but an empty vessel as his anatomical ambitions are shallow and self-glorifying, his mind weak and saturated with thoughts of lust. I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but I very much behind what I have written.

12:34 wish at 10:18

This one is for my homies.

"Hi!"

"Hey!"

"How are yo-"

"Oh! Guess what we did today!!"

"OK. What did you do?"

"We... Ok, guess what TWO things we did today!"

"Just quick tell me!"

"Are you freaking out?"

"Yeah, uhh yeah. What did you do?"

"Uh... we put a couch outside and then stayed there in the sun for like six hours... awesome. And then we biked to Sandy Hollow (6 up-and-down miles) and the volleyball pit was flooded with snow water so we stripped down to our boxers and belly flopped."

"Ohhh... awesome!"

"Yeah... why are you freaking out?"

"...I don't want to talk about it... I have two tests tomorrow, a quiz and three papers."

"Wow. How far are you?"

"Umm... not far enough."

For two tests, a quiz and three papers by tomorrow. My wish is for her tenacity and vigor in completion, because I'm pretty sure that she will be through and off to the Dominican after tomorrow's obligations. Word to the motha.

That thing... that one thing... oh yeah, my MAJOR.

Yeah, it's English: Writing and

I haven't written anything in so long.

I haven't written in so long, but I HAVE been reading. The bulk of it being Theology texts and Short Stories (Carver, Barrett and anthologies before that).

This is not to say that I am dwindling in inspiration and voice, rather that I am lacking time and practice to voice thoughts and create onto paper... or screen. And then Katy wrote something that people will read because it is beautiful and important. (Dr. Schaap keeps saying that reading good and gorgeous things make him want to stop writing, to stop trying. I'm the opposite of that.)

Feeling inspired, and clearly so, I wrote down two sentences during class the other day.

I think I'll share them once I expand and finish up the Environmental Studies PowerPoint presentation, Heresies reading and journal, racketball etc. etc. etc.