The things we owe ourselves

Patience, for one. Humility is another - that we don't beat ourselves up when we fail the ones we love. It's extremely destructive. And it's very proud of us when we do that, acting as if it is strange, or, out of the ordinary even, that human beings display signs of selfishness. Of weakness.

No, I have no idea where that came from. What I really set out to explore was the notion that we believe ourselves to be more than we are, or need to be, to our friends. I've always had problems with the idea of being content. It seems that content implies some sense of completion - that the race has been run. When is that ever the situation? So, no. We should not be satisfied with who we are.
But, just a moment ago, someone told me that I make them laugh.
And they don't do that very much anymore.
For the past few days that we've spent together, isn't that good? Shouldn't I be blessed that I could help a dear friend of mine feel light-hearted, if for a handful of moments?

On the one hand, big deal. But I'll take a sarcastic "big deal." If I can help my friend in such a way, I will.

This might be a particular situation - I hope, at least, I can continue being a joyous person. And if I can even be a person to listen and shoulder the load, then that will be something to blog about. Or maybe to tell my mom about. Screw you guys, I'm telling my mom.


I didn't answer my phone as much as I usually do today. And I suppose this is really what the title of the blog is about. Maybe it was because we have spent a lot of time recently with large groups of people. Large groups that, eventually, filter out to less but still. Maybe it was because it can get really annoying and extremely rude to keep the phone within access when two friends are spending the evening together. If that is to sit together in relative silence, share a livid conversation or escalate in funny stories and ridiculous shit... well, whose place is it to deem significant enough or not?

And now, I am slowly returning calls. Maybe I've had a cell phone for long enough to worry about emergencies... or maybe I wonder if there's anything I can/need to do.

Why do we do anything really? Why do we yell at people for things they've done when only they know the reasoning? What is the appeal of rebuke?