varying degrees of light

Why do people become fans of Pissing People Off! on facebook? Why do some of those people have to be kids that were in your group at Dordt Discovery Days last summer that you want to encourage? And if you had any words to give them... they would be to be confident about who they are. That's what we want for anybody we know, right? And if they're young (and so much moreso if they're bright), then we want them to grow enthusiastically and enjoy the time of their youth... pre-youth.

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I'm talking to a friend, let's call her Dianne, about whether people have types or not... and I just asked Beardface's mom (I almost called her Mrs. Beardface, but Paul Westra doesn't have a beard. Her name is Sharon... er, Mrs. Westra, but I can call her Sharon... and him Paul) because she is the only one awake. I came away with a few chuckles and the knowledge that she wouldn't have dated a Hindu party animal... her red flags were guys who were 1) non-Christian and 2) obnoxious party animals.

That's different from having a type, I argued later. Having a series of red flags, especially for a young Christian on the dating scene (do Christians have dating scenes?), is expected in everyone to some level. For example... I wouldn't exactly ask a girl out to coffee if she were a fan of Pissing People Off! on facebook. Girls don't look cute(r) with ironic phrases on their t-shirts.

Some people have a type, or types. Dianne has a type. There are certain characteristics that she either consciously ascertains from guys, or that she's noticed are common attributes with guys she's fallen for... or both (the latter, then the former). Guys with dark hair who aren't stringy tall and have calm, clear eyes. Not loud guys. (Dianne doesn't like me that much.)

Dianne and people like her are, generally, the same people who have separate mental lists of People I Could Date and People Who Are Just Friends... and there is some transition that takes place between those ladders, but not so often, and the criteria... ... ... I have a headache, and anyway, it's much more interesting to have someone explain it to you for themselves.

I don't have a type. Sorry. I maintain that I don't have a type because... it's so interesting when you talk with someone, and you walk away saying, "Who is this person?" as in, "I want to see this person again," and "I want to know this person." Girls who can be mean... that's hot. Girls who laugh when they want. Also hot. I could go on for pages...

Other friend, she'll be Isabel tonight, says that the people we don't find intriguing on some minimal level are the ones that guard themselves. Sadly, perhaps these are also the people that bore us.

Or, more truthfully, what I said was that some people bore me. That might be the most pompous thing that could be said about another person. "Maybe there's a correlation between how guarded people are, and how boring they seem to be."

...maybe I'm just bored by people who have different interests than I/people who suck.

No, because really, guarded people are intriguing initially.

And there are things that catch your eye with a member of the opposite sex. I don't mean being an ass-man or a breast-man, because that's a totally different, generic conversation. (It's still a fun one to have occasionally.) I mean things that you talk about when you haven't seen your bearded friend in awhile and you're up late playing Cribbage and having some wine. It's not that you're immediately interested in a GIRL when she wears black with silver jewelry (for example)... but you notice it, and think it looks nice and wish more girls would do that.

And then THAT girl (any number of them) does it, and you crumble.

But anyway.

That's all different from having a type. I just thought it was interesting. I mean, if I met a girl from India with a British accent... that'd be great. Mostly because of that frickin' movie Bend It Like Beckham... and then she was on ER later. That was cool.

/Someone who will die for you and more, but it ain't me babe! No! No! No!