Family Order

An excellent, excellent edition of Time is the one with the kids on the cover. It wasn't a very long article, actually, for being the cover story... but it also has that short one about what meal famous chefs would choose for their last (I don't know why discussion about passionate cuisine and what we ate while growing up keeps tearing me up... what the hell?) and a conversation with Cormac McCarthy and Joel and Ethan Coen. Those guys are hilarious.

The family order basically stated that research and the escalating number of studies show that your place among your siblings really follows a trend. Like, startlingly. Of course, personality and ego both are prone to other factors: family income, neighborhood, parenting etc. But generally, the oldest is the biggest and most intelligent, most immunized and has the most scrapbook/memory photo albums made and the parents, I assume, decide that they are too tired for such things when the next children come along so they cut it out... but the younger kids notice! The oldest child is the most successful and, in the game of careers and life, wins the game because he/she is forced to step up as an authority and won the unbridled virgin affection of both parents alone... for awhile.

The middle child, assuming the first child was a good kid, rebels for attention by being a bad child. He/she also never has the parents alone because the oldest was there first and the youngest is usually around by the time the oldest moves out. So... the middle child is whatever goes. They didn't say too much... but it's almost a definite inferiority complex because the first child is so effin' successful academically, socially etc. etc. That prick.

The youngest child sometimes rebels from the middle child (or de-de-identifies, as the article put it) and behaves. Something else was said, something else was said, the youngest is most likely to take risks and take the most adventurous and passionate life of firefighter, artist, comedian etc.

So it makes sense that the oldest child scored the highest on the SAT's, flourished in school and church social groups and is a strong leader... that the middle child is a bit inclusive and withdrawn, reaching for more rigid academics (business and accounting and numbers equaling up!)... and the youngest child, um, wants to drop out and learn to write and be a photographer and take cooking classes while living in a commune and gardening.

Okay, so I said I want to drop out. That's not totally true. It's all true, there are significant shades of truth in everything of that sentence... and I think I'd be happy and find myself super defensive when people say, "Trust me; you'll be a lot happier if you stay in school." Okay. I am staying in school. Also. How do you know that? You don't know that! Why do I need a college education to be happy? I need to take these generals and spend my parents money, scholarships to learn, momentarily, the biology of the brain?

Well, I need a college education to get a job of any sort. Yes, I acknowledge that... but not any job of any sort. I'm not here to get the "new GED" though. I'm here, as I am (I hope) in every part of life to absorb every part of existence. As in, to learn.

And classes and learning make me happy, they feed me. But... well, I'm just thinking about the idea of a college where each student creates his/her own individual major, as in, there are no set curriculums or programs, but the mentors help you map out your semesters according to what kind of education you want. Every major is an individual study, custom designed. And I just spoke with a friend that is changing his major from Criminal Studies (which our college doesn't offer anymore) to Business... because he can do a lot with that... but he didn't sound too excited.

I'm not cut out to be a Lit. major. I knew this before but I really know it now. It has been decided.


I think my last meal would be Hae Dup Bap. Which, I know!, isn't Korean, but our family grew up eating sashimi and... it's so good. Don't know what it is?

There's fried rice (bokum bap) that is tasty and my dad is really good at making it. Taking steamed rice and adding shite to it and frying it all together...

A step up from that is bibim bap. It is like bokum, but you don't fry it. You add fresh vegetables and some cold cooked vegetables (ban chan) like zucchini to steamed rice and poach/fry an egg on top and mix it up with your chopsticks in sesame oil and red pepper paste (which is a marvelous invention). I've eaten it with eggplant in it and various mushrooms... usually there is some beef in too. Seriously... oh seriously.

Hae dup bap is pretty similar to that but instead of the beef is various sashimi (our family does salmon and red snapper... I think my mom has a specific affinity to that combination). And there's no egg and more of salad ingredients instead of eggplant, various sprouts etc. If my mom loves you, she'll cut up some nori over your bowl and, if she really loves you, she'll mix it for you and it will taste much better. Some greens, fresh jalapeno, sesame leaf, fish eggs, red pepper sauce and/or dynamite sauce, wasabi... the fish really makes the dish but if you have bad rice or then you have bad rice... and this isn't a Chinese restaurant! (We don't have Orange Chicken here, slut!) This is home, where we take our giant bowls out to the deck and sit, smelling the sesame growing from our garden and laughing.

Well... now I want to live somewhere on the coast. I love you, mom.