varying degrees of light

Optimism is, usually, not the way to go when in an argument. You can't justify watching Sex and the City by saying, "Well, at least it's not the View." (But, let's be honest, isn't it still?) And to hell with compromises! Say you were young again and you found a five dollar bill on the street. Your friend wants to give it to that homeless man down the street. You want to get milkshakes for all the boys in the yard. "How about... we buy ONE milkshake... and give the rest to the man?" "...fine." No way. That's bullshit.

I buzzed my hair the other night. Well, I guess Pauly Hana did most of the buzzing but I agreed to it for a number of reasons. In order of significance for racketball, because Poel -- one of my roommates -- moved out and another roommate, Kenny, was gone for the week at a theatre workshop... thing. Also, because the bush was borderline uncontrollable. "And, what the hell, put a small mohawk in there while you're at it." So he did and I like it.

"Why did you do it???!!!"

No, I didn't say, "At least it's not a huge one and I'm not going to color my hair." I try to stray from the bullshit.

I like it mostly because it gives me motivation to play racketball and work out harder. I like it also because it dries almost instantly and is much easier to maintain.

So you don't like it. Well, usually that would make me want to argue. But you don't and I do and we can leave it at that.

Can't we?

I'm in college; I should be allowed to decide how to buzz my own hair.

So, Mom. As you can see, I came home so I could drop off the car and have lunch with you. I left the car and will see you once you calm down because I can't talk to you while you're screaming at me, while you're so erratic that we couldn't sit down and have a meal first. And talk like civilized people. I'm at the grille, now. Eating fries and a gray hamburger. I will walk to work and stuff. This is not teenage angst; I'm not blaring Radiohead in my room and telling my roommates how much you suck and are gay. I like my haircut and I wish you could have behaved otherwise before screaming in my face and telling me that I'm going to live at home from here out.